Tag: house listings

homesick for impossible places
I found a £15,000 house for sale on Zoopla
in the town I grew up for eighteen years
not really a house but a cosy one bed
on Castle Street, council tax band unavailable
Scott says that’s a sign the property is cursed
I have no idea about freehold tenure 
but I’m a bitch at auctions
last sold for £24,000 in 2014 
you have to assume the place was on fire
insane wallpaper stripped
to the tune of severe black mould
all slutty lilac underneath
lots of free rubble
demons living in the wiring
and slugs come out the plug sockets
I could afford to buy this flat
which is twice the size of my current home
if I paid it off at £82 a month
over 25 years 
working my ass off as a journalist 
by which point 
I would have ensconced myself
in the licentious ivy of the outside