Records I listened to in 2024

Okay music this year was weird for me. I liked things where the lyrics were meltwater into guitars and my ~spotify wrapped was all obsessively listened same songs split geode feelings. Exclusively masculine guitar bands with the exception of Brat (top 5). I too am the virus. Maybe because it rained nonstop all year in Glasgow, even with my heart split with California it made so much sense to listen to The Natural Bridge on loop and felt that bridge would cross the ocean. It was the bridge in the song and the bridge of the ocean. I kept thinking about high-singing shoegaze sirens and lay in the mud during a Mogwai gig. Songs about blues and magic mountains and lucifer and love and sympathy and blood and fluoresce and dallas and golden days and dreams and strawberries and tiredness and june and miracles. Seriously I know 2024 was music gossip and humming cancellations and virality blown up to chromatic ontology but (here I want a line break) I just wanted to be stoned at the claire rousay gig forever. And that was my music.

<cue sparkly tambourine>

“Come talk to me about it outside”

Thought about taking a searing breath onstage and how long til it heals?

[Shane Lavers’ shriek]

“Then there was this weird music video that popped up in my complaining featuring jelly sparkle heels and the message was about destroy your cloud with new CD-R storage capacities! and there was this song from the early 2000s and in the music video you could walk around with big yeti slippers

and this really horny barbie song set in a swimming pool which honestly just sounded like goats but was visually orgiastic & gauche 

guess I blame the pseudoephedrine!”

Winter – shoegaze, e-girl
Spring – folk, emo, concrète
Summer – jam bands, indie rock, hyperpop
Autumn – alt, slowcore

Jazmin Bean — Traumatic Livelihood

Kim Gordon — The Collective

DIIV — Frog in Boiling Water 

Waxahatchee — Tigers Blood

Julia Holter — Something in the Room She Moves

The Lemon Twigs — A Dream Is All We Know

Bladee — Pyskos 

Four Tet — Three +

Grace Cummings — Ramona 

Vampire Weekend — Only God Was Above Us

Pearling — Lovelocket

claire rousay — sentiment 

Billie Eilish — HIT ME HARD AND SOFT 

Charli xcx — Brat 

Dr. Dog — Dr. Dog 

Clairo — Charm 

Bella White — Five for Silver 

Chanel Beads – Your Day Will Come 

Loukeman — Baby You’re a Star 

Phish — Evolve

Kelly Lee Owens — Dreamstate

SOPHIE — SOPHIE

LI YILEI — NONAGE 

claire rousay — The Bloody Lady

Asher White — Home Constellation Study 

Porridge Radio — Clouds in the Sky They Will Always Be There For Me 

Horse Jumper of Love — Disaster Trick

Papa M — Ballads of Harry Houdini 

The Cure — Songs of a Lost World

Magdalena Bay — Imaginal Disk

070 Shake — Petrichor

Horse Jumper of Love — Disaster Trick

201520162017, 2018201920202022, 2023

hmu if there’s stuff you think I missed……………………………………

xoxo

Hi Sorry

Hi Sorry

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so long to get back to you
we’ve been super busy here you know I
know am going there now fine
be with you in five. Not. Ten. Fine. Can all
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in with completed timesheets by the end of the week before
right yes okay, did you
see the edinburgh rainbow I am
a bit confused as to where to find this building
you come pick me up right. Yes. In the morning. Yes.
It’s staff spa day I am a bit
nevermind. Right. So if you. Yeah I’m good it’s been
Ok let’s try this instead. Alright you know maybe
did you check the reference I think that’s
What was wrong no no one’s gotten
Their feedback yet have you considered.
I am going there now yeah that’s so true
The link seems to be broken can you
Hit resend yes it’s in the attachment not
This one this other. Sorry. Can I send you
the month again
I think I’ve been spotlighted and muted
at the same time
I mean if you want to you could always
no that one’s closed have you
checked out the right books
so sorry! I mean fine I’m good yeah
You know I am alright I can order another
So if you check on the library resources
Tab yeah you’ve got. I totally understand!
Sorry for your understanding
I’ll take care of that, would you. Ok.
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Not allow for templates so what you do is
Put the big red box. Right. And then
The blue box and the green. Right. Could you…
It would be great to be in the big black box
Which you put in the bin. Totally! Uhm, the poem’s not
Opening are you sure you sent it yes
It’s not a PDF though it’s literally inscribed on the stars.
Right…. Do you have a skin by any chance
Can I put it in your poem? I think it’s in my pocket
That’s so fucked? I’m so sorry?
Can you put my head on the maintenance portal?
Okay. I need your help and expertise unravelling
One of the world’s longest standing misconceptions. Right.
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funding for my damp lifestyle. Do you want me
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I can stand where you need me hey Maria
The file is so corrupt
THERE IS NO AUDIO why is he
Making inchoate humming noises can you
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Are you offering anything? New deal on flaking.
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On the furniture. I don’t think the wifi is working
Why you ask. You see the password?
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You want to send it without a subject header
Like are you totally sure? No I’m sorry
It’s Mau but with like a ‘oooooooooooo’ at the end.
Think of cows! Happy in the field. Grazing on liberty caps.
Ma – ooooooo. Yes! You’ve got it. Not many people can do that.
Can you please ring me back. Hi it’s Amy
And Georgia. I’ve filled in your invoice for you
Sorry about the cuts. Hahahahaha
Love you! I want to get on my knees for you.
I’m on strike. Trust me I have a good reason
To look? Hello?
Hey how are you I hope

Phantom Architecture

the stillness of the painting has a kind of speech to it
the sustaining restless grammar of poetry
is that how good poets defy things with their heart
the sun on the tongue is a kind of living
the poem seems to fill up with this
a panic, just in the peripheral vision
a mode that can maintain the day
something of Schuyler in the act of saying
how it allows the people to enter the self
we are not complete
when I’m writing, I’m the right size
I’m not bigger or smaller than anything
kindle’s like etch a sketch
one of the issues of elegy is not being able to let go
the Orphic is endless
we’re all here because we’ve been taken captive by our reading practice
a text of dubious origin which is a great analogy for poetry
trick us into thinking these are finished propositions
the only authority is the sound itself
foregrounding the process of echoing
the lyric utterance as operating system in the present moment
humour my error
invent my own invisible poem behind the invisible poem
beginnings are always about nothingness
meaninglessness makes meaning
a horizon or atmosphere that I can continue to write into
I am always beginning…
I literally don’t know how to write a poem
phantom architecture of a poem
the complexity of getting from one line to another
a properly honest relation to our temporality 
the poem that doesn’t know it’s good is usually good 
you can’t find anything if you’re not lost
making nothing as a suspension of labour
marking the duration of a symptom
speculative topos for tracing affinities
there is no better time than the present when we have lost everything
a generative uprooting of one’s identity or biography to do the work
incantation to wrestle the poem from its enclosure 
to project in divine sublimity
hoping poetry might come back 

*

All of these lines are quotations of things said by panellists and contributors at the Peter Gizzi Colloquium at St Andrews University on 18th October 2024: Anne Boyer, Luke Roberts, Oli Hazzard, Honor Hamlet, Colin Herd, Jacob Bard-Rosenberg, Rosa Campbell, David Herd, Caspar Bryant, Daisy Lafarge, Anthony Caleshu, Peter Gizzi.

Tonight I am

Thinking about this song over and over as I prepare something to say about Peter Gizzi’s Sky Burial (2020) at a colloquium on Friday.

Lyric refrain: the gig that was meant to happen and didn’t. The poem that was meant to be and wasn’t. The soul that was to be given. Ellipsis of what’s left. Diminuendo. Poem thank you kindly.

Midsummer Song (Hypercritique)

In 2018, I started a Doctorate of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at the University of Glasgow. I also started a new diary. In October, the month it all started, I wrote about duplicate footsteps and permanent landfills. I wrote of lacking the energy to dance, being lost in the forest, looking for safety among swirling leaves. Can’t remember if the forest was real or metaphorical. I wrote seemingly in lieu of being able to actually venture beyond the confines of my working life. Over three years and three months, I went through multiple iterations of research focus. I looked at foam, clouds, technicity, glitter, quotidian measures, fire and cinders. I fell asleep on coaches circling lochan sunsets. I produced a list of figures for how we might conceptualise this project. It was a sort of Escherian dollshouse, a self-deconstruction of building this place to think. I thought about Bhanu Kapil dropping her book in the river. I thought about doing a writer’s residency within the confines of a square-shaped digital platform. I wrote of ‘An angel tossing her gunpowder sequins’ and ethical eating, ‘how so often you are so paralysed between two choices that you just don’t eat at all’. I wondered what kind of home this work would make for me. This was a material question: thanks to the Scottish Graduate School of Arts & Humanities, it was a funded period. It paid me through Covid-19.

These were my original research questions:

  • How can creative and critical writing interrogate and depict the apparent tensions between the Anthropocene’s deep-time and the quotidian context of our ecological orientations?
  • What hybrid critical-creative forms might open up possibilities for a future ecological art, one which builds productive ways of ‘tuning in’ to a non-anthropocentric experience, with reflexive attention to the artistic and technological media involved in this process?
  • How might ‘the everyday’ provide a temporal and formal mode through which to develop a critical, interdisciplinary Anthropocene aesthetics, negotiating ecological questions of affect, sensory relations, ethics and responsibility at scales both macro and micro, human and nonhuman?

It is up to the reader to decide how far the end result fulfilled or strayed from these lines of enquiry.

Six years on, having graduated from being a baby scholar-poet, I am really thrilled this project has found a dream home with No University Press, a new imprint from Tenement Press. The ‘no’ of refusal feels appropriate to this project, which very much concerns the affordances and limits of an academic and institutional mode when thinking through (im)possible questions of ecological thought and living on. Working with Benjamin Pickford and Dominic Jaeckle, editors at Tenement, I was able to bring the project’s creative detours and modalities to life in its final book form: Midsummer Song (Hypercritique). This is definitely the most ambitious work of my life. It’s 469 pages of critique, poetics, meadow work, illustration and elegy. I see the whole book as a big song, a study, an architectural attempt at making an ecological home in lyric.

Somewhere between an academic monograph and performative dreamwork, poetry and poetics, conceptualism and the commonplace.

You can order the book direct from Tenement here or from Asterism here.

You can read a full description of the book and access endorsements, sample poems and other materials here.

I will be touring the book at some upcoming dates in Glasgow, Edinburgh, Manchester and London:

09.11.24                      Peter Barlow’s Cigarette /
                                        with Maria Sledmere,
                                        Harriet Tarlo & Lucy Wilkinson
                                        The Carlton Club, Whalley Range
                                        Manchester
                                        See here.

05.11.24                      Midsummer Song / Readings & Discussion
                                        Maria Sledmere,
                                        David Farrier
                                        & Colin Herd
                                        Fruitmarket Gallery, Edinburgh
                                        See here.

26.10.24                      Midsummer Song / Readings & Discussion
                                        Maria Sledmere,
                                        Chris McCabe
                                        Small Publishers Fair
                                        Conway Hall, London
                                        See here.

22.10.24                     Midsummer Song / Readings & Discussion
                                        Maria Sledmere,
                                        Carl Lavery
                                        & Colin Herd
                                        Advanced Research Centre,
                                        University of Glasgow / (Online via Zoom)
                                        See here.

Lustrous Polychromes

Rereading Kathleen Fraser’s Translating the Unspeakable: Poetry and the Innovative Necessity (2000) in preparation for some teaching this year. Stumbled into Barbara Guest’s dreamscapes. How much does emotion colour your dreams? Sometimes such residue feels the longest hours beyond. How often a day’s blue tint, whose dream was responsible? I live in Sunday celadon. I love you. Ardent light.